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REVIEW:
Carmageddon
Imagine this. You're cruising Route 66, wind to your back, pedal to the metal, when an adorable white fuzzy rabbit tentatively begins crossing the road right ahead of you. You swerve to avoid him, but -- splat! -- bunny burger. Instantly your stomach does flip-flops and you feel sick ... but somewhere in the dark recesses of your mind, a tote board registers "Ding! Two points!"
You, my sick friend, ought to rush right out and buy yourself a copy of Carmageddon or you will never forgive yourself. Its motto -- "So many pedestrians, so little time" -- says it all. Interplay's so-called "racing game for the chemically inbalanced" is surely the first in which you have no clue as to who wins the race, or even what place you achieve. Nor do you care. And that's because Carmageddon has very little to do with driving skills and an awful lot to do with target practice. The controls are a snap -- the arrow keys control acceleration and direction -- all the easier, my dear, to keep your mind on the screaming people, the mooing cows and the other drivers who have the audacity to get in your way. As the race begins, you've got only one and a half minutes to make it through all the checkpoints and reach the finish line. But that time can easily be stretched by racking up points for damage done and for freeing up internal organs. Mashing two people at a time gives a double bonus, more gives a "splatter bonus," while skidding into them sideways merits an "artistic impression bonus." Clearly you're going to score much higher by driving on the sidewalks than on the pavement. (Oddly enough, your car comes complete with a horn, although we can't figure out why anyone would want to use it.) There are plenty of ways to increase credits -- which buy repairs and upgrades -- and time, all of them having to do with aiming the front of your car in the right direction. Luckily, human targets tend to scream a lot, so you can readjust your bearings should you get distracted and pass them by. A review of this game wouldn't be complete without the obligatory warning to parents. There's no parental lock on it, and there is no kiddie skill levels; there's simply no way to rationalize letting the youngsters get a hold of it. On the other hand, we much more mature adults will find Carmageddon difficult to put down. It's not the graphics, which are passable but not very interesting. Nor is it the Redbook music, which you won't hear unless you do the full 264-MB install. And it's certainly not the incredibly long loading times which, on a Pentium 90 with a medium install of 51MB, took an inexcusable minute and a half (exactly) prior to each race (just enough time to scrape the giblets off your headlights).No, it's being in the unique situation of playing a game with very few rules, or at least few politically correct ones. The 45-page manual devotes precisely five lines (that's lines, not pages) to the rules, which are: "Do whatever you want to do. The game will try not to get in your way (unlike your opponents who will often try to get in your way at 150 mph in the opposite direction)."And speaking of opponents, if the crunch of taking out a computer-controlled competitor is satisfying -- and it is -- imagine how tingly you're going to feel in multiplayer mode. It gives you the opportunity to make mincemeat, literally, of up to five of your best friends in any of seven different games. Opponents of violent PC titles have longed for games in which there's no shooting. We can attest to the fact that not a single shot is fired in Carmageddon. But, somehow, we don't quite think this is what they meant. (Reviewer's note: Carmageddon is the most violent game we've every played. How do we feel then about giving it a positive review and a three-lightning-bolt rating? Let's just say that we don't condone violence in real life. And we wouldn't let a young child play it on a bet. So do we feel funny recommending it? A little. Do we feel funny enough to change our opinion that this is one helluva lot of fun to play? No way, Jay. But we are interested in your opinion of either our review or of the game (if you've played it), or both. Send us your words and we'll add them to The Buzz section of our Carmageddon review. The same holds true for any GamePower review with which you agree or disagree. Nuff said.)
-- Paul HymanPaul Hyman has been an editor and writer covering the high-tech industry for 25 years and a computer game junkie and reviewer for the past five. He heads up GamePower and wishes he had more time to blow away alien invaders.
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